


tiny honey

by eyydude



Series: treasure [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, De-Aged Illumi Zoldyck, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, Kid Illumi Zoldyck, M/M, Married Couple, this one is going to be just unbearably fluffy and wholesome guys i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28991364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyydude/pseuds/eyydude
Summary: After going through the most challenging times of their lives the Zoldyck family and everyone's favorite magician have to deal with another problem related to Illumi.After an encounter with a Nen user Illumi is turned into his child self and everyone around him has to deal with the aftermath for the time being.But hey at least this time he's not dead!
Relationships: Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Zoldyck Family & Zoldyck Family
Series: treasure [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126694
Comments: 177
Kudos: 417





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello guys!!!! im back with another fic and for those that have read my previous work imma let u know that this one will be very similar
> 
> i thought i was just going to write this short first chapter and nothing else but i think i might make it a chaptered fic :3
> 
> anyway this happens after the ending of "you don't know what you had until it's gone" although you don't really need to have read that for the most part

Nen is a complicated thing and Hisoka knows it well. He’s seen powers of many kinds and abilities that defy all logic so some might expect him to react calmly to any new and odd power that came his way.

They’d be right, of course, for the most part. 

The magician would be more than thrilled to see a new, awe-inspiring Nen ability, but instead, he’s frozen in complete shock as he watches the pile of clothes that once used to hold the flawless figure of his beautiful husband as it squirms around on the ground.

There’s a pure rage that overwhelms him at first, a familiar one that he felt long ago when he wasn’t there to protect his darling and then there’s helplessness. 

Until a tiny curtain of black pops out of the pile of clothes and two big eyes stare up at him. 

Immediately he’s dragged back to a memory from long ago. A beloved one, that he keeps close to his heart because sometimes even men like Hisoka cling to comfort. It’s a memory of a tiny porcelain doll that brought so much entertainment to the life of a poor jester marionette.

Needless to say, Hisoka is having a strange day.

The little wisp of a thing that’s still drowning in Illumi’s clothes continues to stare and to Hisoka’s surprise, there’s a slight hint of recognition in those eyes.

Skinny, little arms stretch up and towards him, the sleeves of Illumi’s blouse more hang close to the ground and cover Little Lulu’s whole arms.

“I want up.” It’s incredible how much of his Illumi lives on in this mini version of his darling. 

Those big eyes are demanding and completely confident that they’ll get what they’re asking for. It warms Hisoka’s heart to see this spoiled side of his Illumi asking for comfort and demanding to be pampered just like a kitten.

Immediately he bends over to pick up the bundle of clothes and hair that is so light Hisoka has to check twice to make sure Little Lulu hasn’t slipped out of his grasp. 

The little boy is quietly staring up at him, not blinking even once and with his arms tightly wrapped around Hisoka’s neck. It’s sweet, the jester thinks to himself, maybe Illumi’s not that wrong about them having children soon.

Until those adorable little hands grab a hold of his carefully styled hair and pull…

“Why is your hair like this? I don’t like it.” A blink and a grumpy, little frown that makes Hisoka wish to pinch his cheeks and boop his tiny, button nose.

Maybe not that eager about those brats Illumi wants.

“Do you have candy? You smell sweet...Oh! Is it poison? Some poison is very sweet, I like that one best.” The idle chatter continues.

Of course, Little Lulu’s preferred poison is the sweet one. 

Of course, Little Lulu has a  _ favourite poison _ …

There’s another tug on his hair. 

“I want candy.”

_ Shit. _

“Ah... “ He looks around at the dark alley they’re currently in and sighs, searching through his pockets. “How about bubble gum, honey? I’ll give you sweets when we get back home.”

He starts unwrapping a piece of gum as he carries Illumi out of the alleyway, their airship is already prepared for the trip back to Yorknew city and even though he should probably inform their family about Illumi’s state he can’t bring himself to just yet.

_ Their _ family…

Huh, he didn’t expect that thought to occur.

Little Illumi seems to be even more talkative than his adult counterpart and somehow the small child has less of a filter to what he says. Of course, Hisoka wastes no time answering those adorable questions, but he takes his time avoiding the more irritating ones that always seem to come back to his age or his looks. His Little Lulu might be a trained assassin, but Hisoka doesn’t forget he’s still a child and a few magic tricks will easily distract him and provide the magician with a few simpler questions to answer.

“Do you know any stories?” Illumi asks and somehow manages to snatch Hisoka’s card right out of his hand. 

His darling really was so talented even as a child!

“Of course~ I have a tale I’m sure you’ll love, darling. It’s about a beautiful princess locked up in a castle all the way up in the sky!” 

With that simple sentence, Hisoka knows Illumi’s already hooked and so he begins spinning his improvised story.

“This castle that the princess lived in was hidden away from people and no one was allowed to go there, but one day a handsome, travelling jester heard about this unreachable castle and the lovely princess that was hidden within.” He grins and tries to push some of Illumi’s long hair out of the child’s face. The assassin might have turned into a child, but his hair stayed the same length so it was quite easy for those inky locks to wrap around his darling like a cocoon.

“What did the jester do?” He tilts his head to the side and that’s a sign Hisoka knows well. It means Illumi is interested.

“Well, the jester took off to the castle and he had to survive numerous trials before he even got to the tower the princess was it! He finally reached it after he fought off huge beasts and made his way through so many guards, but at last, he found the tower. He climbed up and up until he finally reached the princess and he carefully got inside eager to meet her.” He grins as continues on with the story, noticing the signs of tiredness in Illumi’s eyes.

“Did the princess kill him?” The small assassin yawns, wrapping his arms a bit tighter around Hisoka’s neck and nestling his little head under the jester’s chin. 

“No, no,” he chuckles and pulls his tiny darling closer, “the princess did want to kill the jester, but then something magical happened! Would you like to know what?”

Illumi nods sleepily.

“The jester made the princess laugh and the princess decided to keep him around a little longer.”

The child pouts and with his head still buried in Hisoka’s shoulder he mumbles, “I think the jester is annoying.”

Hisoka throws his head back and laughs. “The most annoying jester, but he was the princess’ annoying jester.” 

There’s no answer, just tiny puffs of breath that warm his shoulder.

Hisoka smiles and kisses the top of Illumi’s head.

“And they lived happily ever after…”


	2. Chapter 2

After a long, arduous walk and quite a large number of people giving him and his little passenger strange looks, Hisoka arrives at the airport and gets into his and Illumi’s private airship. The crew aboard doesn’t question him, most try their best to avoid making eye contact and Hisoka feels a pang of disappointment at the lack of opportunity to explain how his husband has been turned into a child.

He’ll have to settle for now and after all, too much chatter might wake up his precious Lulu and Hisoka is well aware and grumpy Illumi can only spell disaster. It’s tempting, the opportunity to see his little darling wake up cranky because of his interrupted nap, he knows all too well how sensitive Illumi is about his rest. However, he’d rather not have the airship crash with them in it, it would just delay them.

“Excuse me~” he smiles to one of the flight attendants, “would you do me a favour and bring some dessert to our room? Lulu will be very upset if he wakes up and there are no snacks for him.”

“O-of course, sir,” the man bows quickly, “Is your p-partner not joining you?”

“Hmm?” He raises an eyebrow,  _ so someone is getting curious now. _

The flight attendant takes a step back, “N-nothing, sir, I’ll go get your order!”

As soon as the man finishes his sentence a few things happen in quick succession. 

First, the unlucky fool realizes the volume of his voice, the colour drains from his face and his eyes wide in horror.

Secondly, Illumi moves, just a small shrug and the tiniest unhappy pout on his face, nose wrinkly cutely at the minor disturbance.

Third, Hisoka’s face hardens and as fast as a cobra he lashes out and embeds a card in the man’s neck before he gets another word out. 

A tendril of Bungee Gum makes sure the man doesn’t make noise as he falls to the ground and Hisoka sighs and looks around to one of the other flight attendants. The rest seem completely unmoved, as expected, the dead one must have been new to the job. 

“We’ll bring the dessert to your room, sir, have a pleasant flight.” 

They’re already starting to clean up the mess on the floor as Hisoka carefully steps over the body and makes his way to their room.

“You made a mess and everyone saw you,” the soft voice that he adores calls out faintly, still muffled by his shoulder, “It was stupid, you could have killed him in a better way. Mama hates messes like that.”

Luckily for both of them, Hisoka can keep up with Illumi ever-changing trains of thoughts.

“I simply wanted to make sure you had a peaceful sleep, darling.” He smiles and places Illumi on the bed, finally able to take a better look at the child.

“I could have done it too. I have done it before when mama and papa asked.” Illumi takes a slow look around the room, his brows furrow and his pout intensifies, “Why aren’t mama and papa here? Did you kidnap me?”

The jester can’t help himself, he simply throws his head back and laughs.

“I’m serious. You probably drugged and kidnapped me, that’s why my head is fuzzy,” he tilts his head to the side, “What did you use? I’m immune to most drugs, mama took care of it.”

Hisoka wipes away a tear from the corner of his eye and kneels in front of the little boy.

“Ah...Kidnapping my little Illumi always seemed like such a delightful idea, but no. We are actually flying back to Kukuroo Mountain right now.”

“Really?” The little boy leans in closer, eyes wide and searching for any proof of insincerity.

Hisoka raises his pinky finger and smiles sweetly, “Promise~”

“That’s stupid.” Illumi proceeds to tilt his head to the side again, resembling a small confused bird.

“Hmm? Why so, honey?” Hisoka mirrors him fondly.

“Because promises don’t mean anything and they’re useless to assassins.” Little Illumi recites primly.

“Then what should I do so you can trust me, darling?”

“Nothing, I’ll just kill you if you do something really annoying.” He shrugs and swings his legs back and forth.

Hisoka grins, his beloved was such an entertaining child, he can’t help but wonder what sort of little devils they’d be able to raise together. 

A tiny palm pushes his face back.

“Your face is annoying.”

“So mean~” Hisoka pouts dramatically.

“Not true. You’re not mean if you tell the truth, mama says it’s mean when people lie and I shouldn’t do it. She gets very upset when people lie to her and I don’t like it when mama is upset.”

“Of course, I should have known.” He reaches out and cobs his fingers through Illumi’s hair, still so incredibly long and silky. “We should take care of this, honey, before it starts getting in your way.”

The air in the room changes immediately as Illumi pushes Hisoka’s hands out of his hair and cradles his silky locks gently. 

“No. I can take care of it like this. I’ll be careful if you let me keep it long, I’ll be good…” 

Hisoka hates everything about this moment. The fact that this small, young version of his husband seems so anxious, the fact that he thought Hisoka was going to chop off his beautiful hair like some barbarian. It brings up that familiar hatred on behalf of his beloved, it makes him yearn for another opportunity to fight them, but he knows he can’t.

Illumi’s most precious rule that he shall never break.

Don’t kill family members.

He takes a deep breath to calm himself before he makes the already jumpy Illumi even jumpier.

“Who said anything about destroying that beautiful hair of yours, darling? How about I get a brush and some hair ties and I braid your hair?”

Illumi doesn’t relax yet, still guarded and faintly afraid. 

“You’ll just have to sit and eat your snacks, lovely, just let Hisoka do the work, hm?” 

The little boy simply stares at him and Hisoka knows he must be taking his time to put all his thoughts in order. He’s used to giving his darling time to arrange his mind and clear his thoughts and so Hisoka waits.

A knock on the door and the arrival of the flight attendant with a tray full of sweets is what mostly likely saves him from a few hours of silence because Illumi’s eyes immediately focus on the pile of chocolate.

Hisoka smirks and raises an eyebrow, gesturing to the tray and the two of them have a silent agreement.

Their lovely game of give-and-take never ceases to entertain Hisoka.

Later, after he is done braiding Illumi’s lovely hair he snaps a quick picture of the boy stuffing his cheeks full of candy and sends it as a response to Silva’s inquiry about the assassination contract he and Illumi completed.

This should be a fun home visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly baby illumi just stole my heart im thinking about this adorable lil thing 24/7 
> 
> another chapter down more to go! 
> 
> we're soon going to meet the zoldycks once again and see a completely new type of reaction :3


	3. Chapter 3

Silva stares at the screen of his phone for at least 5 minutes, but his mind refuses to register the clear information on the screen. There is a picture of a very small Illumi on his screen, not shrunken, his mind supplies, a shrunken Illumi is something Silva wouldn’t have wasted any time worrying about. 

As he continues thinking about the difference between Illumi being shrunken down in size and Illumi being a child he hears another notification and notices that the clown sent him a video. He’s not calling that man his son-in-law anytime soon and Hisoka knows it, even decided to make it into a game between them. The jester does his best to goad him into saying it and Silva vehemently ignores all of his attempts.

He sighs and opens the video to see a close-up of Illumi’s small round face, his eyes are wide and lips pursed in a pout. It reminds Silva of those frogs Illumi used to catch and then bring to Silva.

“Say hi to papa, lovely~” Hisoka’s voice chimes from off-camera.

Illumi is attempting to grab the camera while also drowning in his too-large clothes, his face is covered in chocolate and cream in a way that reminds Silva of how much of a messy eater Illumi used to be when it came to candy. The boy’s hair seems to be the same length still, but it’s been put in a neat braid that looks to be so carefully made that Silva feels a pang of jealousy.

Before Silva knows it the video ends abruptly and violently as Illumi throws an empty plate at Hisoka.

He attempts to call back a few times, but it appears that Hisoka’s phone is out of service, Illumi must have gotten upset with the clown's antics...

Then his phone begins ringing, it’s Illumi’s number that’s calling and it’s requesting a video call.

Silva answers and he is once again faced with an image that brings back memories of weakness, of holding a small, vulnerable bundle of blankets or seeing a skinny, bird-boned child curl up between himself and Kikyo to sleep at night.

He sees a corpse and the memory of something that he failed to do.

“Papa, this man keeps saying he didn’t kidnap me, but I think he will ask for money as compensation for bringing me home. I don’t like him and he’s annoying and smells like bubblegum, but he lets me eat candy.” Those big eyes somehow manage to widen even more. “Oh, I wasn’t supposed to say that...Mama said I shouldn’t eat candy at this hour. Papa, do you think mama will mind?”

Silva’s speechless, he doesn’t know how to answer any of this. It’s been too long since he’s dealt with a child.

“Papa I miss you and mama. I want to go back home and my head is really fuzzy. I think the bubblegum man drugged me, but I don’t know how and I’m planning to make him tell me so mama can help me train for it.”

Illumi misses them.

That’s all he manages to properly concentrate on as Illumi keeps on talking. The statement simply sticks with him in a strange intrusive way. He doesn’t think he’s heard those words from anyone else in their family in years.

“Illumi.” 

The child immediately stops talking and listens attentively, always looking up to Silva with those big eyes.

“You’ll be getting home soon and we’ll talk then. For now, listen to Hisoka and consider him....” he struggles to get the next words out, “part of the family. Consider it your mission.”

“Yes, father.” The boy nods and for a moment he looks so much more like adult Illumi, so much so that Silva resents it.

“Put Hisoka on the phone, I need to speak to him.” 

Illumi nods again and hands the phone over to Hisoka who accepts it with a smug grin.

”Part of the family?” He raises an eyebrow. “Are you getting soft,  _ papa? _ ” 

Out of all the people Illumi could have chosen to marry...

“Get him home safe.” He says quietly, the threat clear enough in his voice.

Hisoka frowns and checks on Illumi.

Thankfully, the little boy has crawled back to the head of the bed with the rest of the desserts and is currently eating away, without a care in the world.

The magician and the older assassin stare at each other. The tension is high although they’re kilometres apart and talking through a screen. Silva’s words managed to re-open still fresh wounds, no matter how many months pass everyone still feels the loss and they revel in picking at each other’s scabs.

Hisoka most of all and he does it openly, but Silva isn’t above it either. 

Here he is, after all, telling  _ Hisoka  _ to keep Illumi safe when he’s been the one that worked the hardest. The one that’s been there the most.

The audacity.

“Did you expect I’d bring my darling home in anything less than perfect health? I’ve been taking care of him for so long, I believe I’m the experienced one here, father dearest.”

“I don’t trust you to care for a child. Illumi’s compromised, he can’t take care of himself like this and you’ve never handled my son at this age.”

“Let’s agree to disagree, daddy. Little Lulu here seems to be much better at caring for himself, it seems that instinct disappeared with age.” His eyes narrow, golden slits of spite and resent. “I wonder why this happened?”

“I am his father.”

“It was a surprise to me as well.”

“I finished my candy.” Illumi’s voice chimes in and both Silva and Hisoka turn to look at the little boy. “May I have some milk? If I don’t drink milk then I can’t sleep well and I’m sleepy now.”

“Right away, honey. You’ll have your warm milk in a second~” Hisoka smiles cheerfully.

“How do you know I like warm milk, I didn’t tell you. I only told mama and papa and we’re not supposed to tell family stuff to other people.” His face scrunches up.

“A magician never reveals his secrets, Lulu, and besides, you heard your papa,” he turns to Silva just for a moment to give him a cocky wink, “I’m family too.”

Hisoka ends the call and Silva realizes he doesn’t remember anything about Illumi drinking warm milk before bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i know i promised cute and fluffy but i can't go too far away from my roots and so i occasionally put some sad stuff in here
> 
> if you've read my previous story u know i simply cannot step away from the sad :3


	4. Chapter 4

Hisoka walks through the gates easily, pushes them open with one hand while his tiny darling pokes at his cheek make-up. The magician doesn’t consider putting Illumi down on the ground for even a second so instead, he keeps the bundle that is his mini husband in his arms while he walks through the gates. 

“See, honey bun? We’re back home and I didn’t disturb a single hair on your pretty, little head~” Hisoka chuckles and taps Illumi on the nose just to see that cute face scrunch up again.

The boy pouts, but keeps his arms around Hisoka’s shoulders and clings tightly. The little assassin is still completely unused to the outside world, much like a tiny animal, Illumi watches every person walking by with cautious eyes and gets ready to dart out of Hisoka’s arms at any moment.

The poor thing will need some more time before he learns that no human can measure up to him, there’s a long road for Illumi to reach the level of confidence in his powers that Hisoka is so fond of.

A few branches crack through the forest and grins, he’s seen what sort of creatures inhabit the woods on Kukuroo Mountain and Hisoka knows for a fact that Illumi somehow managed to connect to each of them.

Mike’s gigantic form steps out from behind the tree’s and Hisoka smiles, he’s always been fond of Illumi’s big puppy. The beast might be the size of a house and feeds on human flesh, but Hisoka has seen him play fetch with Illumi on multiple occasions, his darling taught the monster every mundane trick a normal dog would learn.

“The first person to welcome you home, honey, let’s go say hello to your fri-” Hisoka stops mid-sentence as he turns to look at Illumi only to see him hiding his face and doing his best to stop his trembling. That is when it hits him.

Illumi has no idea about Mike, at this age it’s clear that the tiny boy has been kept inside the mansion with only the minimum of human interaction. Hisoka heard has listened to some of his stories before, about how Silva and Kikyo kept him home for much longer than they did any of the other children. 

The joys of being a young parent.

It is one of the few things Hisoka can’t completely despise the Zoldycks for because after all, he looks at the tiny boy in his arms, the frail limbs and big eyes and he just knows he would have kept him away from the world for as long as possible.

Hisoka has seen the world and he knows Kikyo has seen even more during her lifetime. When you’ve seen the dark corners of humanity, when you’ve been part of them for your entire life and then you hold something so precious in your hands you simply want to hide them away forever.

When he looks back up at Mike he notices the dog has his head tilted to the side, it must be Illumi’s scent and the lack of the actual Illumi to match with it.

“Don’t be scared, darling, he’s a friend.” He coos at Illumi and takes a few careful steps towards Mike.

Mike sits down, his large head laid out on his paws and looking at Hisoka with those big, dark, puppy eyes.

Illumi finally looks back at Mike, eyes meeting and Illumi’s fear seems to drain away immediately.

“How about I put you down next to him, lovely?” He takes a few steps closer and waits for an answer from Illumi, but the small child is simply too preoccupied with staring at Mike.

Hisoka places him down and Mike curls up around him like an oversized fur blanket. Illumi’s eyes widen and he gasps at the softness of the fur, he nestles closer and presses his hands into the fur. 

It’s a charming picture and Hisoka can’t help himself from pulling out his phone and snapping a quick picture of it for memory’s safe. He’s been documenting Illumi’s adventure’s in this form ever since it happened. What if Illumi doesn’t remember any of this afterwards?

Hisoka needs to make sure Illumi sees all of this when he returns.

“He looks like the big pets papa has in his office, but those don’t move…” He almost purrs as he snuggles deeper in Mike’s well cared for fur. “Papa doesn’t let me play with those.”

“This one isn’t your papa’s pet though, darling. This one’s all yours~” 

Illumi is oddly silent as they all sit there in the clearing, the boy has been talking Hisoka’s ears off the entire time, but it seems that he’s either ran out of fuel or simply enjoys cuddling Mike more than he does asking Hisoka questions.

A few careful steps make the magician pull out one of his cards, not to attack, of course, he’s part of the family now, those butlers work for him as much as they work for his husband. It’s not much, but even that large, old woman that Hisoka despises seems to have changed her approach to Illumi after the little incident months ago.

“Master Hisoka…” He can hear the reluctance in her voice as little Amane calls out to him.

“Mmm~?”

“Master Silva invites you to the mansion, everyone has been...waiting.”

The magician chuckles, happy that he managed to inconvenience the Zoldycks in any way available, but just as he prepares to bargain for a bit more time just to upset Silva further, a little blur of purple and black grabs him by the shirt and drags him to Amane. 

“Papa is waiting. We need to go. Now.” The little boy says decisively and Hisoka pouts at his lost opportunity but begins to smirk soon after at the sight in front of him

The butler is frozen in shock, she stares down at this tiny boy and Hisoka can see the exact moment when realization dawns upon her. 

“M-m-master Illumi?!” Amane stutters as the tiny boy stares up at the with the most serious expression a five-year-old could have.

Illumi nods and begins pulling ion Hisoka’s pants. “I want home now, Hisoka.”

“Of course, princess. Time to get you back to the castle~” Hisoka picks him up easily and starts walking towards the manor while Amane is trying to shake the shock off so she can follow.

Illumi is swinging his tiny legs back and forth as they walk. “Go faster.”

“How impatient you are, lovely.”

“I miss mama and papa,” he pouts, “papa said I need to listen to you, but the butler said papa is waiting so that means I need to listen to papa more than you and get home.”

“Mhm, of course.”

How Silva managed to have this much luck in life Hisoka will never know, but it makes him want to burn everything that man “loves” to the ground. 

Such a shame Illumi loves his family, but as long as he’s part of it Hisoka is happy to bare it.

Everything for his tiny honey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter down!!!
> 
> hehehehehehe we're so close to meeting the family again and I'm so excited to make everyone dote, love and pamper baby lumi :3


	5. Chapter 5

Illumi is vibrating with excitement as they walk towards the manor and Hisoka can easily tell. The little boy walks a little faster, the corners of his eyes are wrinkled with the signs of a smile and his lips are tightly pursed. Hisoka keeps an eye on him and lets himself be dragged along by his little doll.

Then Illumi begins sprinting, not fast enough to lose Hisoka, of course, especially not with his short legs, but the mini assassin still surprises the magician when he launches at full speed. When he starts chasing after the little boy, Hisoka sees Silva Zoldycks a few feet away, staring silently as Illumi toddles in his direction while trying not to stumble over his oversized shirt.

As he’s walking with his arms stretched out and about to reach his father Illumi stumbles over his own legs and falls face-first into the grass without making a single noise. In an instant, to Hisoka’s great surprise, Silva picks the little boy up and takes him in his arms. There’s something terribly awkward about the whole image, father and son, holding onto each other in a way that should be natural, but both Silva and Illumi look like they have no idea what to do next.

Hisoka chuckles and sneaks another picture while he watches Silva struggling with what might be the first time he held a child in years. Illumi looks painfully small in those arms and there is a part of Hisoka that wants to snatch him away, but he knows how upset his darling would be and so he restrains himself. 

“Inside. Now.” The assassin turns around, not even looking at Hisoka as he addresses him, and walks away with Illumi still in his arms.

There have been very few times Silva felt this much lack of control over himself and his life, but the strangest thing was that somehow all those time related to Illumi. The early birth that terrified him and Kikyo, the existence of this new life that they hadn’t expected and Silva hadn’t wanted yet. Illumi came into their lives like a powerful breeze, he wreaked havoc around himself and then slowly faded into nothing.

Illumi’s death followed after, right as Silva was most confident in his position and his strength, right as he felt his objectives align it all fell apart and slipped through his fingers. It wasn’t Silva that fixed it, he didn’t save his son and family, he had nothing to do with it. 

“Papa, I met this big, fluffy animal in the forest and he was really nice. Can I visit him more? I promise I’ll be careful, I’ll even train him, please papa…” Those big doll eyes stare at Silva pleadingly.

“Mike is yours already.” 

Illumi seems surprised, his mouth gapes open and his tiny hands clench and unclench, it feels as if he wants to do something or as if he’s restraining himself from doing something. 

Silva frowns, he’s confounded by the fact that after all this time he’s still unable to tell what Illumi wants. His son’s unspoken little wishes are just as out of reach for him today as they were when Silva was a young, confused father.

“Would you look at that…” The clown chimes in like the annoying, buzzing insect that he is. “Little Lumi wants to hug his beloved papa.”

Illumi’s hands clench again and it dawns on Silva.

Damn the clown and his clever eyes, the man knows Illumi’s every tick and gesture in a way Silva will never manage to. He sees where Silva analyses, he listens where Silva hears and he feels where Silva rationalizes.

By the time his thoughts finish rolling through his head Illumi moves his hands away and looks down silently. 

It’s a stark difference in how they all take Illumi’s silence nowadays. Gone are the days when they’d tune out Illumi’s chatter and ignore it until it went away. Now they all get a small twinge of worry when there’s a lack of Illumi, when his voice isn’t drowning out the silence. 

Silva clenches his teeth and he can feel the hints of bloodlust oozing from Hisoka.

“Illumi.” 

“Yes, father.”

“Did you enjoy spending time with Hisoka?” He knows he sounds robotic, like a parody of what a father would ask his child, but somehow even this weak display of parenthood makes Illumi’s face light up with happiness.

The little boy shakes his head and pouts fiercely. “His stories suck.”

Silva almost lets out a most undignified snort.

“He gave me candy and braided my hair, but he’s a clown and I don’t like it.”

“How cruel....” He hears Hisoka muttering behind them.

“Is mama feeling well? I miss her and I want my clothes back…”

“Your mother is fine. You’ll be seeing a few more people, not just her.”

Hisoka laughs behind them and Silva can only guess how much chaos the presence of a child version of Illumi will create. Kikyo is sure to overreact, but maybe a child to fret over is what she needs after how upset she’s been with the events surrounding Illumi’s death and marriage. It didn’t help that Illumii has been filling her head with ideas of grandchildren already so they might as well use this opportunity to pacify her.

The children on the other hand…

Illumi will probably enjoy spending some time with children, not as a caregiver, but as a child himself. 

There’s a featherweight on his shoulder and a small head full of silky hair resting on Silva, Illumi is completely asleep in his arms and his tiny hands clutch at his shirt. He’s never seen Illumi resting before, it’s strange, he’s not sure if that is normal.

“Oh, did he take another nap?” Hisoka walks closer to him and smiles fondly at the little boy. “Whatever made him like this also got the little thing very tired. He keeps falling asleep.”

“You’ll be telling me about everything that happened.”

“Of course, as much as I love having a tiny doll to play with, I’d much rather have my husband back.”

“Kikyo will keep an eye on him.”

“Yes, how could she not. It’s impossible to take your eyes off him.” The magician reaches over and pokes Illumi’s cheek gently. “So cute~”

The little boy lets go of Silva’s shirt and wraps one tiny hand around Hisoka’s finger, mumbling something in his sleep.

Hisoka stares Silva in the eyes and smirks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there we go guys :3 silva arrives to take care of his son for the first time in over 20 years hehehehe
> 
> baby illumi doesn't even know how much people are competing for his affection rn but those people don't get that tiny illumi has a huge heart and he's filled with love :3


	6. Chapter 6

After sending a few butlers off to call the family to Silva’s office for an urgent meeting, both men sit down and continue their staring contest while the young Illumi has a pleasant nap. They’re both very aware that he’ll soon be woken up by whatever chaos the presence of a toddler Illumi will create in the house.

Silva can already hear his wife’s shrill shrieks and even though he is sure Illumi, even as a child, was already used to being woken up by his mother’s hysterics, the assassin still wishes to make sure the child rests. 

Hisoka soon starts putting together a card castle, waiting for the oncoming panic. 

The door opens with a small creak, Silva makes a note to notify the butlers of it, and Killua’s head pops in first. Coincidence has it that at the same time, Illumi blinks away and rubs his eyes with his small palms, looking at the source of the creak. There’s a moment of pure confusion between the two children while Hisoka watches with a pleased smirk and then Illumi stretches his short arms as far as they can go in Killua’s direction and sleepily mumbles.

“Pa...pa?” 

Killua stops moving and stares like a deer in the headlights while even Hisoka seems caught off guard for a moment. 

Illumi blinks a few more times and rubs his eyes again, just a bit too harshly and Silva can’t stop himself from reaching over and taking a hold of his son’s terrifyingly small hand to stop the little boy from rubbing his eyes raw. It’s not a planned action, no dots connect in Silva’s head and no strategy is made, his hand simply moves on its own with an instinct he forgot he ever had.

That is when the little boy freezes for a moment before he looks up to see that the massive hand that just took a hold of is much smaller, fragile one is just his father.

He looks back at Killua and blinks, faces scrunching up in confusion and cheeks puffing out with frustration as he struggles to understand.

“You’re not papa…” Illumi keeps looks back and forth, a small pout on his face and an angry frown that makes Hisoka’s heart fill with even more love for his sweet, little darling. “You look like Papa.”

“I...uh…” The white-haired boy looks at the people in the room for help.

“Mn? What is it, Killu? I thought you’d be more excited to be a big brother again~” Hisoka responds with a mischievous smirk. 

“Wha…” 

“Are you my big brother?” Illumi gasps, eyes somehow getting even wider and then looking up to Silva. “Can I have a big brother?”

There aren’t many ways for Silva to respond to such a request made with big, pleading eyes and a fragile, little voice so he gives Illumi a nod, the same one he’d give the young boy when he progressed through his training. The smile and the look Illumi gives him afterwards makes him look back to Killua immediately. 

“Illumi was hit by some form of Nen that made him revert back to a child version of himself. We don’t know how long it will last, but we will be keeping him under watch for the time being.” As he explains, Illumi slips out of his arms and toddles to where Killua is still frozen.

There’s a very determined look on that little face as he makes his way to Killua and stares up at him with those large, black eyes. Killua can’t do more than stare and try to wrap his head around the fact that his older brother is now a child. A thing made even harder to achieve by the fact that the child in question is currently staring up at him with his little hands grabbing at the air for him.

“Big brother!” Little Illumi calls out and it reminds Killua so much of Alluka that it pains him.

“Y-yeah?” 

“Please pick me up.” The little boy hops on his tippy toes a few times to try and reach up for Killua.

There’s no consideration or doubt when Killua immediately goes to pick up the small boy only to be rewarded with a tiny giggle and a pair of little arms wrapping around his neck. 

“Thank you, big brother.” 

“It’s so sweet to see such brotherly love~” Hisoka sighs and places one last card on his castle, chuckling as Killua and Silva send him an identical glare. 

“Does anyone else know?” Killua asks, walking deeper into the room with Illumi’s barely there weight in his arms and two short arms clinging to his neck.

Silva shakes his head and eyes the door as Zeno walks inside.

The older assassin takes a look around the room and squints at Illumi before turning to look at Hisoka. 

“How fast do kids grow these days. Didn’t even know you two had a little monster already.” Zeno takes a seat and turns to look at Killua and the child.

At the very same time, everyone in the room speaks.

“This is Illumi, father.”

“You’ll know when Illumi and I have a few little darlings~”

“Hello, grandfather, papa says I have a big brother now.”

“It’s just Illumi, he got hit with some Nen…”

Zeno raises an eyebrow, stays silent for a moment and then sighs. 

“Of course it’s nothing normal.” He crosses his legs. “At least he’s alive for now.”

Three cold gazes target Zeno while one pair of black eyes is too busy staring at fluffy white hair and combing his fingers through it.

“We’re bad with children, it’s just a family fact. We already screwed that one up once.” He nods to Illumi who might be contemplating putting a handful of Killua’s hair in his mouth.

“I’ll take care of him!”

“I’m the best at keeping Illu safe~”

“He’ll be kept safe.”

“You three are getting too similar.” Zeno snorts with a small, barely-there smile. “When you’re done babysitting, send the child to me. I’ll teach him chess again.”

“Is mama coming too? I want to see mama again. Is she busy?” Illumi pulls on Killua’s hair. “Big brother, can we go see mama?” 

The sound of heels echos in from the hallway and a second later Kikyo enters the room, has one look around and screams at the top of her lungs.

“ILLUMI!” Her visor blinks in distress.

“Mama!” The little boy smiles and reaches out for her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back friends :3 
> 
> also for reference illumi will basically be wearing this in this chapter 
> 
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/SACYSAC-Childrens-Neckline-Princess-Chinese/dp/B089K9W4JW

Kikyo snatches the little boy out of Killua’s arms in the blink of an eye. She pulls Illumi close to her, seemingly holding him a bit too tight for comfort, but the small boy looks more peaceful than ever before, purely content with being near his mother. Kikyo begins to look over her precious child, taking in every inch of him and making sure no one has dared lay hands on a Zoldyck child.

“Kikyo, put Illumi down, we need to talk about this first,” Silva calls out from the desk, but in Kikyo’s head, his voice is muffled by her own instincts. 

She takes a moment to observe the people in the room, the clown is there and so is that nasty, old man, probably ready to tell Silva to take Kikyo’s baby away. The bloodlust starts to permeate the room like poisonous gas and while the deadly aroma provides a familiar comfort to the small Illumi, it also reminds the four other people in the room that Kikyo is deadly, even more so when it comes to her children.

“Look at what they did to your hair!” She wails, paying attention only to the child in her arms and completely ignoring any outsider. “Mama will fix it up for you, Illumi.” 

“Kikyo.” Silva tries again, more forcefully.

Her head whips around painfully fast, visor a steady red. “I was talking to my boy, darling... “ There’s a low quality to her voice, a warning clear in her quiet tone, so different from the usual shrillness of her speech. 

“Mama,” the little boy chimed in, completely unperturbed by the heavy tension in the room and clearly used to his mother’s bloodlust. “I had some candy with Soka and he said it was fine, but he’s dumb and annoying.”

“My poor baby!” Kikyo shrieks and Illumi doesn’t even blink as everyone else in the room flinches at the sound. “That man must have fed you something cheap, we’ll get you something good to eat and you’ll have your usual daily dose, mama will make sure of it!” 

“ _ That man  _ is still in the room as you can see,” Hisoka pouts dramatically and places a hand over his hear while looking at the little boy, “Darling, I thought we were friends. Why must you hurt me so?”

“Assassins don’t have friends, mama and papa told me so,” Illumi says confidently with the steadiness of a child that knows nothing else. “You can be a butler if you’re good.”

“What a smart boy I have!” She kisses the boy’s cheek with a loud smack that causes the young boy to smile and soak up all the attention. 

After Kikyo leaves the office yelling for the butlers and Kalluto the room succumbs to a heavy silence.

_ Assassins don’t have friends. _

Hearing this from the young boy triggers a whirlwind of emotions in the remaining four inhabitants of the room. While Hisoka and Killua have their anger reawakened at the fact that this small, sweet Illumi that thrives on affection and attention has been taught to be alone, to run from the source of his happiness. Zeno and Silva become overwhelmed by a very different emotion, maybe shame or a deep-rooted regret that whispers in the back of their head ideas of what Illumi could have been without that one single phrase.

In another area of the manor, Illumi is recounting the events of the previous day and his trip to the mansion along with the brief meeting with Mike. Kikyo holds him closely, nails digging into delicate skin, but the young child simply finds comfort in the action. 

They reach Illumi’s room shortly and Kikyo places him on the soft bed while she begins to rummage through old drawers that haven’t been opened in years. Old toys and baby clothing, small knives and hidden weapons meant for a small child. 

It all fills Kikyo with nostalgia.

On the bed, surrounded by soft sheets and many toys, the little Illumi wonders idly if his clown knows any more stories. Not that he likes those stories, of course, they’re very stupid and Illumi has no need for those, just like he has no need for the brightly coloured magician. The little boy’s thoughts drift to how painless it was when Hisoka braided his hair, or to how warm his hugs were...Illumi’s mama always squeezed a bit too tight, but it was fine because it meant she loved Illumi.

“Oh!” Kikyo exclaims and shuffles back to the bed with a neatly folded pile of clothes in her arms. “Illumi darling, look what mama found!” 

She holds up a mint and white coloured children’s hanfu, it’s light and flowy with delicate embroidery in a few places. 

“Let’s dress you up, Illumi. You’ve been dressed in those rags for who knows how long. Let mama fix you up.”

Illumi nods and hops upright to make it easier for Kikyo to change him. It’s a quick process, with Illumi quiet as a doll and Kikyo humming to herself as she dresses him up in the hanfu. Once it’s all done she claps once, another gesture that seems to have passed from one Zoldyck to the next, and picks Illumi up again. 

“So much better! Ah...” She whimpers softly and then sobs, “My little baby is back!” She drags Illumi in another hug, wailing in his tiny shoulders. “All my children are leaving, Illumi! They’re all gone, but you came back...Mama knew you’d always come back to her, honey…”

The little boy reaches out and puts his small arms around his mother’s shoulders, not really understanding the context of the situation, but knowing his mother is upset.

“Can’t leave mama and papa. We’re family and that means we’ll always be together, mama.” He explains with a small pout. 

There’s a series of very distinct knocks on the door, a dull, loud one, a quick and sheepish tapping and loud, quick knocks, right before the door opens wide to reveal a frowning Milluki, a curious Kalluto and an overly excited Alluka.

Illumi tilts his head to the side and after a slow blink, he says the first thing that comes to mind at the sight of two more children close in age with him.

“Do you want to play with me?” He asks innocently.

Alluka squeals. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo im now doing much better and i wanted to say I'm so grateful for how nice everyone has been! I'm very happy to be back to writing and doing what i love and also to put stuff up that entertains and makes people happy :3
> 
> we're back to the regular schedule of posting now~
> 
> which is basically just chaos heh :3
> 
> love yall i hope everyone's doing well ;3
> 
> ps: i will probably be deleting the announcement chapter soon because now it's kinda useless but im also kinda sad to do it cause it has everyone's sweet comments and im not sure if deleting the chapter will also get rid of those


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello~ hehehe baby illumi back on his adventure

Alluka launches herself across the room and pulls the small Illumi to her chest, hear chin sitting securely on top of his head and her arms wrapped around him tightly as she begins to spin and spin and spin.

“Look! Look! Illu-nii is so tiny!” She squeals with joy while the little boy lets himself be spun around. “Kalluto, you’re a big brother too now!”

“ALLUKA DON’T SPIN HIM LIKE THAT HE’LL GET DIZZY!” Kikyo yells, visor flickering wildly.

“ILLU-NII IS A BABY!” Alluka matches her mother in volume and continues to giggle while holding her new baby brother.

“I’m sleepy…” Illumi mumbles and slowly closes his eyes, somehow being lulled to sleep by the fast spinning and the screaming around him.

In the doorway, Kalluto watches the scene before him and then looks up at Milluki.

“Why are you looking at me like that?!”

Kalluto rolls his eyes and snaps his fan open. “You’re the one that found a way to fix big brother last time.”

“KALLUTO!” Alluka yells and before Kalluto responds she’s already grabbing him by the hand and running out of the room, one brother sleeping in her arms and the other getting dragged along behind her.

“When did you get so strong?!” Kalluto asks while their mother yells after them to come back.

“That’s a se-cret~” She giggles and continues to make her way through the manor.

“You spend too much time with Hisoka…” Kalluto pouts.

“...Soka…” Illumi mumbles. 

“He’s sleep talking! That’s so cute, Kallu!”

“Shhh...you’ll wake him up.”

The three young children get to the toy room in no time. Alluka’s old room, full of toys and with brightly coloured walls. It has been turned into a strange playroom for the family, a place to gather in and live as a normal family for a few moments. A strange concept, to find peace and unity in what is basically a bunker hidden deep beneath the earth, but maybe that’s what makes it easier. In this safety box with thick impenetrable walls and more locks than the most secure prisons in the world, the Zoldycks can be a little bit more like a family.

Alluka places the still sleeping Illumi on the bed and stands there for a few moments just to watch. The little boy is curled up in a small ball, knees up to his chest and his mouth is slightly open. His hair is still gathered in a braid but barely kept together after hours of being passed around from one family member to the other. Their brother is so tiny, bird-boned like Kalluto with big, shiny eyes just like Alluka. He looks like a doll while asleep. 

Kalluto joins his sister and watches the young Illumi as he sleeps. He’s never seen something like this before, someone younger than himself, a small child sleeping peacefully while he’s being watched by his older siblings. Kalluto wonders if anyone watched him sleep the way he and Alluka are doing right now. 

Illumi must have.

“Kalluto,” Alluka turns to him with a pout, “Let’s take a nap with Illu-nii!”

“A nap?”

“Yeah, we’ll take a nap and then we can go out and play together!” She climbs up on the bed and wiggles closer to Illumi until they’re both snuggled closely. Alluka looks back at Kalluto with expecting eyes.

“Fine…” He pouts and climbs on the bed next to Illumi.

The three siblings cuddle close to each other, with Illumi cradled in the middle like something most precious. The little boy sleeps contently in the warm embrace of his siblings like a small bird in its comfortable nest.

Long after the three children have fallen asleep the distinct sound of heels makes its way to their room. 

Hisoka leans on the doorway, grin already spreading across his features and hand sliding to his pocket to get out his phone. After all, how could he pass up such an opportunity? He snaps a few pictures of the three children napping and then walks closer to the bed. There is a moment where Hisoka contemplates waking them up just to see their adorable, little, grumpy expression. Maybe he should even connect them all together with some Bungee Gum just so they stumble over like a small pile of wiggly caterpillars the instant they wake up.

He decides not to do that and instead he takes a seat on the floor and begins building a card castle with the special deck Illumi got for him just a few weeks previously. The magician glances up to look at the Little Lulu from time to time, just to see that rare peaceful face on his beloved. 

Illumi stirs and opens his eyes to look around, half-lidded orbs scan the room, first seeing little Kalluto in front of him, then twisting a bit to notice Alluka at his back and then finally, looking at the floor to find Hisoka and his card castle. 

The jester gives him a smile and a wave. “Did you sleep well, Lulu?”

The little boy blinks blearily and sits up, jostling Alluka and Kalluto in the process. 

“Ah~ you’re even cuter when you wake up cranky, darling! How are my two other favourite Zoldycks doing?” Hisoka chuckles and gets up from the floor.

“Hisoka!” Alluka shoots up from the bed and runs to greet the magician. She jumps up and after Hisoka catches her easily, the older man spins her around.

“Hi, Hisoka…” Kalluto mumbles. 

“How do you like having a little sibling?” The magician grins and places Alluka back down on the ground.

“Illu-nii is so cute! When are you two having babies? I never held a little baby.” 

Hisoka grins and looks back to the bed where Illumi and Kalluto are sitting with unimpressed looks on their tiny, pouty faces, looking almost like twins. He looks back at Alluka who’s talking his ear off about future baby names and recalls his tiny darling’s unending rants.

“How about we ask Lumi together after he gets back.” He grins.

Alluka nods and turns to her other two siblings on the bed. “Let’s go out in the garden! Kalluto!” She gasps and smiles. “We need to show Lulu his garden!”

“Garden?” Illumi tilts his head to the side.

“Mhm! Illu-nii has the prettiest garden and sometimes he lets us help.” She holds her hands out to her siblings. “Let’s go together!”

Kalluto and Illumi look at each other and nod before reaching out and taking Alluka’s offered hands. Immediately the two smaller children get dragged out of the room by a giggling Alluka. 

Hisoka leans on the doorway with a smile and follows after them. “I need to make sure they don’t mess up your lovely garden, darling~” He chuckles to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to add illumi with a garden because the hc that illumi just loves plants makes me so happy 
> 
> i could go on all day about it but instead i offer yall illumi's little fairy garden that he made at home :3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo :3 it is i again with another slightly bigger than usual chapter :3

The magician follows after the three children, watching them carefully as they head out for the garden. Not the official Zoldyck garden, of course not, the butlers care for that one and it’s nothing more than your run of the mill decoration to complete the luxurious look of the Zoldyck property. 

There is one more garden, somewhere behind the manor, deeper in the forest and hidden away for the most part. Finding it is like stepping into a fairy circle, first you venture through the dark and thorny bramble and then you step into a small clearing where the trees disappear to create an opening for the sun and the moon to shine upon the contents of the clearing. 

The floor of the clearing is covered in a blanket of colourful flowers, all delicate petals and soothing scents, but Hisoka and the children all know those sweet, adorable, little flowers hold a deadly poison. 

Much like their dedicated gardener.

The trees on the edge of the clearing are covered in mushrooms and moss, the wooden stands have been completely eaten by the climbing plants that curl up towards the sky. A few birds watch from a branch as the four finally reach the garden. They don’t fly away, they know the clearing is safe. Butterflies, bees and ladybugs buzz around the clearing, little bugs resting on flower petals and hiding the leaves.

Illumi’s mouth falls open, big eyes staring at the sight before him in awe. The little boy has his eyes glued on the buzzing garden before him.

“We can go there?” He looks up to Alluka, eyes filled with wonder and voice fragile, expecting a no for an answer. 

Alluka nods quickly. “Yes! We always come here to play, but we gotta make sure we don’t disturb the garden or Illu-nii will be sad.” 

“Don’t talk about Illu-nii, you’ll make him confused…” Kalluto adds. 

“You’re right!” She gasps and squeezes her cheeks together with her palms. “What should we say then? Soka! Soka!” The little girl turns to the magician. “What should we call Illu-nii?”

Hisoka hums and touches his chin with the tip of a finger, pretending to be deep in thought. “Well, little Lulu might get confused if you keep bringing Illu-nii up...Ah~ we should probably avoid that for a bit.”

“Right!” She turns to look at Illumi, who’s been completely distracted by a small, red butterfly. “Lulu-chan! Do you want a flower crown?”

The little boy doesn’t answer. He just keeps looking up at the butterfly that’s been fluttering close to his face. Big eyes shoot just a bit wider when the small butterfly slowly lands on the tip of his nose and rests there. 

Two pairs of black eyes stare into each other.

“Oh dear...I think he’s stuck.” Hisoka chuckles softly and reaches for his phone again.

Alluka blinks and looks at Kalluto with a grin that only proves that she’s been spending too much time around Hisoka. 

“I have an idea!” She bounces on her heels.

“Is it a good one?” Kalluto asks.

Alluka nods quickly and takes him by the hand. “Let’s make flower crowns! I want to make one for Ill- for Lulu!”

“Oh, that’s better than I thought.” The boy nods and carefully sits down so as to not squish the flowers.

She nods and turns to face Hisoka. “You too! 

The magician strolls in and takes a seat in the field of flowers next to Alluka and Kalluto. He begins by picking a few flowers and braiding the stems together to slowly build up to a crown. 

Illumi continues to stare at the small butterfly until the tiny being lifts up and flies away from him. The little boy’s expression falls into a sad frown, small shoulder slump and eyes look down at the colourful flowers at his feet. That is when he notices a small ladybug climbing up his shoe and he reaches down to lend a finger to the tiny insect. He watches curiously as the red bug climbs upon his finger and sits there staring at him.

Illumi smiles at the ladybug. 

“He likes it here.” Alluka scuttles closer to Hisoka and Kalluto and whispers. 

“It’s his garden, of course, he likes it,” Kalluto says while he hands Hisoka a few more flowers.

They all watch as the little boy sits down in the grass and places the ladybug on a flower. More importantly, they watch the little red butterfly that is now sitting on top of Illumi’s head and gently moving its wings. The small Illumi is still unaware that his insect companion is still with him and so he continues playing with the other insects that live in the garden.

Slowly more and more little insects gather around the boy as he gently picks them up, holds them close to his face and seems to have a silent conversation with the tiny beings. After maybe half an hour there are already ten butterflies sitting on Illumi, some of his head, a few on his hands, there is a tiny ladybug right on the tip of his nose and a dragonfly on the tip of his shoe. 

Alluka is doing her best to stay silent as she watches, her flower crown a bit crooked and rushed, but sturdy. Kalluto takes his time finishing his crown, a very slow and methodical process that is interrupted by small breaks the boy takes to check on the young Illumi and the large amount of bugs he managed to gather. Hisoka grins, crown sitting perfectly on top of his head, another little flower in his hand and a plan in his mind.

“Don’t you kids think Lulu’s hair is getting a bit messy?” He asks innocently and points at what’s left of Illumi’s braid.

Both children nod curiously.

“Well then, we should re-braid his hair.” He twirls the flower in his hand. “Would you like to put some flowers in Lulu’s hair?”

Alluka and Kalluto’s eyes widen and they nod quickly.

Hisoka chuckles and stands up, carefully making his way to Illumi while trying not to spook away the boy’s friends. 

“I~llu~mi~” He says softly.

Big eyes turn to look up at Hisoka, a ladybug still on his nose as he glares at the jester. 

“We should re-braid your hair, darling. It’s getting all messy and we wouldn’t want your little companions to get stuck in it.” 

Illumi blinks and looks at the hairs falling out of his braid. “Oh...you’re right, but you did it wrong and now it’s all falling apart.” He pouts.

“If you don’t want me to do it again then maybe you should let your older brother and sister do it.” Hisoka smiles and looks over at Kalluto and Alluka.

The two children immediately nod eagerly at the offer.

“We’d love to do Lulu’s hair! We’ll take such good care of it, please!!”

“We’re better at taking care of hair anyway. Hisoka doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Illumi nods. “Alright, but don’t scare the bugs. We’re talking and it’s important. I haven’t found the butterfly yet…”

Hisoka laughs quietly and reaches over to pick up the red butterfly on his finger. 

“This one, darling?” He holds the small insect in front of Illumi.

The little assassin’s eyes go wide. “Yes, this one. How did you find it? I thought it left.!”

“Who would leave such a cute little thing. Your friend was right here all along.”

“Oh…” Illumi blinks and looks back to Kalluto and Alluka. “You can do my hair now.”

The three siblings sit in the clearing with Alluka and Kalluto slowly parting Illumi’s long hair while their little brother hands them flowers to add to the braid. 

Hisoka watches silently, chin resting in his palm and smiling gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyone had fun in illumi's little garden! everything in there was cared for and planted by adult illumi and he loves his fairy garden very much :3
> 
> everyone is very careful not to mess it up 
> 
> or else O.O
> 
> hope everyone had fun see yall in the comments and then in the next chapter
> 
> or on twitter I'm back on there too now: @Andreea_125


	10. Chapter 10

Illumi isn’t sure what’s going on.

It all started when he woke up and he was in a strange dark place, not even a familiar dark place like the basement at home or the woods at home or anything at home for that matter. The simple fact that he wasn’t home upset Illumi greatly and as if that wasn’t enough the only person around him at the time was a tall and colourful man that kept talking to the little boy.

The clown kept talking and talking, and all Illumi wanted was for his Mama or Papa to come to get him, but it didn’t seem to happen. Three thoughts kept appearing in the little boy’s head at that point. One was that his parents were testing him, they must have thought he was finally old enough for difficult training, in which case Illumi felt very proud. The second thought was a bit frightening for the little boy, maybe the clown kidnapped him. Their family is important, their family is strong, that knowledge has been drilled into Illumi’s head ever since he could remember so it’s easy to assume some brave idiot could decide to kidnap the only child of the Zoldyck family. 

Illumi’s third thought was terrifying for the little boy, it made him want to cry and he knew very well he should never cry, but he was afraid. The scariest reason for Illumi’s absence from home could be that they had no need for him anymore. The thought that his beloved Mama and Papa would send him away with no explanation filled the little child’s heart with so much dread. 

They wouldn’t do that to him, right?

Illumi has always been a good boy, always listened to Mama and Papa and did as he was told so they wouldn’t send him away.

Right?

Illumi doesn’t know what to think of this so he chooses not to. Puts every little doubt in a small box in the back of his head and decides to never look at it. 

Let it stay there with all the other bad thoughts.

The clown keeps talking to him and Illumi knows he shouldn’t but something makes him talk to the man as well. He feels warm and safe when the clown picks him up, he feels so sleepy when he starts telling Illumi his stupid fairy tale. The little boy doesn’t understand it, but maybe Hisoka will help him like the jester helped the princess in that story…

When Illumi wakes up again he’s snuggled up in bed, warm and comfortable and soon after Hisoka brings him sweets just like he promised. The magician even promises Illumi that they’re going back to Kukuroo Mountain...

Hisoka keeps his promises so maybe that means Illumi will be fine. 

Somehow Illumi’s Papa is on the phone with Hisoka which makes the little boy even more confused. How does the magical know his Papa? He thinks about asking, but he knows he’s not supposed to ask this sort of question...Illumi knows he asks too many questions, but he doesn’t always understand how things work or why and everyone seems to think otherwise so he has no other choice but to ask. That also means Mama and Papa and everyone else talks to him and Illumi is so happy when people talk to him, but there aren’t that many people around the house and sometimes it feels like they’re avoiding him…

Papa tells him to listen to Hisoka and Illumi agrees because his Papa knows best just like his Mama. They’re both big and smart after all and Illumi knows he’s still too little and his head’s too full of stupid things. 

...but Hisoka seems to think he’s really smart…

Illumi really wants to go back home. 

He misses his room and he misses his Mama.

Hisoka braids his hair, but he doesn’t do it right.

At least they finally get home and Illumi can’t help, but feel a little impressed when the magician easily pushes open all the gates. He always thought that the only person strong enough to open all of them is his Papa and so his brain quickly scrambles around trying to place Hisoka somewhere in Illumi’s childish idea of a power ranking. Hisoka, for some reason, seems to never fit in clearly with Illumi’s idea of life and family, but at the same time, there’s something that tells the little boy that Hisoka fits perfectly.

Then there’s a big, fluffy dog and Illumi immediately forgets everything he was thinking about.

His name is Mike and Illumi naps in his fur and it’s the best thing ever. Mike is big and strong and he looks just like the things in Papa’s office so Illumi thinks about asking if he’s allowed to keep the dog. If he promises to take good care of Mike and train him well maybe his Papa will say yes.

Illumi doesn’t understand why everyone gives him even stranger looks than usual, even his Papa seems surprised and his Papa never gives him those strange looks. 

Illumi’s Papa doesn’t give him any looks generally, but in the mind of a child, certain things seem different.

Then the little child finds out he has a brother, an older brother that looks just like his Papa, just like Illumi should have looked if he was the way he was supposed to be. His brother’s name is Killua and Illumi thinks he’s the best thing ever, he holds Illumi gently and even though he does give Illumi some strange looks Killua is very nice and he explains things to Illumi. 

He wondered why he never got to talk to his older brother before, maybe he just wasn’t good enough yet…

Afterwards Mama comes and gets him, she yells at everyone so it must mean she’s having a good day, but then she takes Illumi away from Killua and the little boy feels a little sad. He hopes he gets to see his older brother again.

Mama takes him to his bedroom and changes gives him clothes that fit, she’s so happy and if his Mama is happy then so is Illumi. 

He loves his Mama very much and she loves him.

More siblings happen and Illumi’s head feels fuzzy. There are a lot of people and Illumi is not sure what he should be paying attention too. There is one girl with hair like him and Mama, but her eyes are big and blue like Papa’s, she’s also very loud just like Mama, but happier…

Maybe she’s loud like Hisoka…

There’s another boy that looks like Illumi, he’s quiet and his hair is short, but he smiles at Illumi and he holds his hand when Alluka drags them both away from Mama. They take a nap together, curled up and warm and it reminds Illumi of baby birds in their nests.

Illumi likes this, he hopes it never stops, he never wants to be all by himself again not after finally having this much happiness. 

They go to the garden afterwards and it feels like a dream, it feels unreal, there must be some secret behind it all, there must be a reason why all of Illumi’s wishes seems to have come true all in one day. They let him play with the bugs and no one scares his little friends away, Hisoka even helps him find the little butterfly and Alluka tries her best to be silent.

Illumi wonders if this is what a dream feels like.

He’s happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello fwends :3 i come with another chapter >:3c
> 
> ok ok so i had to be little evil gremlin and add some angst so i decided to write a chapter in baby illu pov
> 
> you might notice the writing style is a bit funky? it's basically my attempt at representing a child's thoughts and feelings and the way he sees the world around him
> 
> hope it at least kinda works


	11. Chapter 11

No one even realizes how late it has gotten by the time a butler comes to sheepishly call them back to the manor. The sky is dark and the moon shines right above the clearing, Illumi’s precious fireflies have already gathered around the edges of the forest and the crickets are getting louder with every moment.

Alluka pouts as they all walk back home while Hisoka holds an already sleepy Illumi in his arms.    
  
The little boy looks more like a forest fairy than anything else, flowers braided in his hair, light green hanfu and even a tiny frog that seems to have gotten attached to the small child. It sits on top of his head and occasionally catches a stray mosquito before it gets to Illumi while Hisoka gets rid of the remaining ones. 

No way he’d let his darling suffer from those annoying, little insects. His honey needs to rest and itchy skin will not do.

Alluka is not as lucky because while Illumi is protected and Kalluto takes care of the pesky insects with his fan, the little girl has to do it all by hand and so their walk back to the manor is punctuated by loud slaps and annoyed huffs.

That is until Kalluto decides to have a little mercy on her and with a wave of his fan disposes of the remaining bugs. He does not tell Alluka, of course he doesn’t, he looks the other way and pretends not to pay attention the second Alluka turns to look at him, but Hisoka catches his eye.

The dining room is full, more common nowadays, but still rare to see the entire family gather for a meal. They never did before, unless Silva had some important news to share and even if he did have something crucial to inform his family of, it would still not be enough to gather everyone.

It’s different now, everything is slightly changed in ways you wouldn’t normally notice, but for a family such as theirs it’s as if a storm hit their ordinary lives. Milluki comes out of his room to eat, Alluka is allowed outside and Killua doesn’t just sulk in his room. It’s awkward, of course, but when they finally gather all together Illumi will sit down and look over his family with his big, overwhelming eyes and smile.

Then he will start asking and asking and asking, anything from Milluki’s new figurines or Alluka’s dolls that are most definitely not similar in the least, to Zeno’s tea or Silva’s day.

They answer now, some shorter, some longer, but they answer.

That’s the bit that matters.

Hisoka stops in front of the table and hums, a small spark of mischief in his eyes. 

“How unfortunate, we don’t seem to have a chair for little Lumi…” The magician pouts and looks at the little boy in his arms. “It looks like someone will have to hold you while we eat, darling~”

“Mhm…” The little boy nods.

All at once the Zoldyck family members exchange looks, glares even, for some of them. As every single one of them is prepared to make their own case as to why Illumi should sit with them, the little boy speaks up again.

“I want to eat with Killu-nii!” He stretches his arms out, small hands making grabbing motions towards Killua who’s frozen like a deer in the headlights. “Mama, Papa, can I eat with Killu-nii?”

“Of course you can, Illu! Oh, you and your brother get along so well!” Kikyo exclaims happily.

Silva nods silently.

Zeno grins and huffs, eyes on Illumi as Hisoka brings the little boy to Killua’s seat. 

With the whole family at the table, the food starts being served, everything going on as per usual with the only difference being the small boy perched securely, almost too securely, on Killua’s lap while the white-haired boy looks to be on the edge of a panic attack.

“Killu-nii should feed me now.” Illumi blinks and stares. 

Maybe the small boy has finally figured out how much power he has over his elders or maybe he simply wanted his older brother to take care of him. Nonetheless, Killua complies immediately and begins feeding the little boy. Illumi sits patiently on his lap and opens his mouth wide each time Killua moves to feed him. It quickly becomes the centre of attention as every other Zoldyck sneaks in glances at the two boys. 

“Did you have fun today?” Killua starts asking, unsure how to even begin a conversation, but desperately wanting to make sure he plays the part of Illumi’s older brother properly.

“A lot of fun! Did you see the garden with the flowers? The really pretty one that has little bugs and birds. I liked it there. The flowers were really pretty. Killu-nii, I made a friend, look!” The little boy babbles as he moves around abruptly and almost knocks Killua’s fork down.

Once successfully turned around to face his older brother, Illumi puts up his palms and shows off the small, green frog with big black eyes.

“He looks like me so we’re friends now.” Illumi blinks and by chance so does the frog. 

“Illumi! Don’t bring those things inside!” Kikyo gasps, getting up from her seat ready to make her way to the small boy. 

Illumi’s eyes grow big, big and fearful and his small hands twitch, ready to close around the tiny creature and crush it like a dutiful assassin.

“It’s fine…” Silva adds sternly, maybe having realized what Illumi was ready to do to make sure he does not upset his parents. “Let him keep it.”

The tiny assassin looks between his parents, confused, waiting for a sign of what to do, desperately searching for a way to make sense of how to fix everything. 

With a loud crack and a splash of water everyone’s eyes go to the water jug that a few moments ago was sitting right in front of Killua. It’s shattered now, water everywhere, mostly on Illumi’s clothes, but in the middle of glass shards, there is one playing card.

“My, my! How did that even happen?” Hisoka’s chair makes a shrill noise as its pushes back when the magician stands up. “It must have slipped me~,” He says softly as he makes his way to Illumi and Killua.

“WHAT D-”

“Come now, darling. We need to dry you before you catch a cold.” Hisoka picks up Illumi with a smile, never once looking at any other person present in the room. “Let’s find a name for your little friend too! I was thinking Gon~” The magician chuckles as he walks out of the room. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo :3 back again with baby lumi and this time it's not his pov hehehehe
> 
> i basically saw this adorable little frog on twitter a while ago and i just had to give it to baby lumi cause it was sooooo cute https://twitter.com/pixiething/status/1369678984502460420?s=20
> 
> love yall hope u have fun with this :3 as u can see baby lumi is slowly discovering that everyone is willing to spoil him :


	12. Chapter 12

“They have no idea how to make you happy, darling.” Hisoka sighs as he carries Illumi to his room. “How lucky that you’re so forgiving to them…”

The little boy doesn’t pay attention, too busy holding the little frog and thinking. His little face scrunched up, lips in a tiny pout and cheeks puffed up. The little frog watches with matching black eyes, both silent as Hisoka carries them. Who knows what must be going on through those minds. 

Must be quite interesting.

It’s a wonder Kikyo hasn’t followed them, screeching and wailing like the terrible banshee that she is. Hisoka wonders if Silva might have stopped her, it makes him smile, the idea that those two have their own in-fighting. With a bit of luck they might end up killing each other, but that’s just wishful thinking on Hisoka’s part.

There are as many chances for Illumi and Hisoka to kill each other as there are for Kikyo and Silva.

Maybe the magician should just leave, he won’t lie and claim the thought of taking his little treasure and disappearing hasn’t occurred numerous times. Hisoka would have done it long ago if it wasn’t for the dejected little frowns that would appear on his beloved’s face every time he had to be away from his undeserving family for too long.

Of course, like the jealous, possessive man Hisoka knows he is, he has imagined many times, been happy even, at the thought that if the magician was away for a bit too long Illumi would be just as sad.

It’s not a good thought to have, but Hisoka’s not preoccupied with being good. Especially when his darling has been tormented once again. He should have known nothing would be changing, not in this damned house anyway. 

It doesn’t matter, he’ll put Illumi to bed and then tell Silva where he can shove his request for Illumi to stay at the manor. Then he will take his darling and leave for their own home, maybe pick up the children too, they’ll enjoy a little vacation.

Yes, that’s what Hisoka will do.

“I need to go say sorry to mama.” The little boy pipes up, “I made mama upset. Put me down, I need to go back.” The little boy wiggles away in Hisoka’s arms.

“Darling, you don’t need to go anywhere. There’s nothing you should be apologizing for.” 

“Mama is upset.” 

“Nothing new there, darling.”

“Mama is upset!” Illumi says again, a bit louder, more frantic than before. His little hands have gone from holding the frog to clutching at Hisoka’s shirt.

“Illum-”

“If mama is upset then I’ll have to go away and if I go away then I can’t spend time with Killua or Alluka or Kalluto!” The little boy continues, louder and more desperate, eyes huge and full of fear, “I want to go back! If I don’t go back I can’t see Hisoka anymore!”

The magician freezes as soon as he notices the tears, big and wet, clumping his lashes together and rolling down his face. Even in the form of a child, Hisoka never expected Illumi to shed a single tear, but there they are and he’s not completely sure what needs to be done.

The little boy seems to be struggling, trying to stop himself, but it just makes it even more obvious. He’s biting his lips to be quiet, holding his breath and keeping his eyes clenched shut, but all it does is show off his age.

“Oh, darling…” Hisoka says softly and pulls the little boy closer until he rests his head on the magician’s shoulder.

Hisoka hears a tiny, choked out whine before the faint sobbing begins. Little hands are still digging into his shirt and that tiny, fragile body is shaking like it’s about to fall to pieces.

Then it slowly quiets down until there are only the smallest puffs of air hitting Hisoka’s shoulder. The shirt is soaked and probably ripped in places, but it seems the little Illumi tired himself out just by crying.

“It’s bedtime for us it seems…” He sighs quietly, “If we’re lucky you forget about this by tomorrow…”

He shushes the boy again and makes his way to his room. No matter what’s going to happen when Illumi wakes up, the least Hisoka can do is make sure the boy rests well after getting this upset.

There’s no chance with those people, no way they’d give Illumi even the smallest bit of peace. Child, adult, alive or dead they all hurt him.

The bedroom is quiet and dark when they go inside so Hisoka turns on the small bedside lamp to have just a tiny bit of light. After placing the small boy on the bed and gently picking out the flowers from his hair Hisoka prepares to stand up and head to the bathroom to change.

He can’t, how could he? When the little Illumi still clutches as him so desperately, not even Hisoka has the heart to grab those tiny breakable wrists and pry them off. 

Leaving his make-up on for the night won’t be that bad, right?

Hisoka lays down next to the little boy. The frog is still there, just resting next to Illumi’s head.

So much trouble for a tiny pest.

Illumi’s pest though, there’s some kinship there maybe. Hisoka’s sure in Kikyo’s eyes there’s no difference between himself and a random frog Illumi picked up and claimed to be his friend. One order is all it would take to make Illumi dispose of either of them, just one cruel command and it would be all over.

There have been moments lately where Hisoka has wondered if he’d enjoy fighting Illumi at this point. Not a fight of their own, he’s sure that would be enjoyable, but an ordered fight.

“...soka…” A tiny voice drags him back to the present where Illumi’s brows have furrowed and his lips began to wobble.

“Yes, darling?” He wonders if he woke up the child, maybe he squeezed too hard...He should be more careful, as strong as his Illumi is, he's still a child.

“...mn...don’t leave…” The boy whines.

“Where would I go, darling.” He says softly and cads his fingers through Illumi’s hair. 

“...away…” A tiny mumble.

“Never.” Hisoka places a little kiss on top of Illumi’s head. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys :3
> 
> back at it again with another pretty sad chapter honestly sometimes I'm just mean to babies apparently :P
> 
> anyway I'm very not sure so don't take this too seriously but i think we should be pretty close to the end of the fic? 
> 
> hehehe can't believe im almost done with this one too :3


End file.
